Fairy Tale Presentation

Mythical Allusion

Biblical Allusions

Literary Criticism

Summer Reading Creative Project

Blog #4

Personally, I believe that I learned a lot from norming the provided essays and the discussion with students in my class, and I think that I found ways to improve my own writing. I know that there were a lot of things in the provided essays, like a strong thesis, or developing the quote in depth, could apply to my own writing.

The main thing that I would like to change about my writing is the thesis. I feel that my topic sentence wouldn’t score high because it doesn’t go in depth, and present the things that a 9-8 essay would in the opening section. I know that I can add complexity to the beginning, and then develop it through- out my writing. My thesis doesn’t really assert a strong point, and leaves the reader wondering what the point is that is being made later in the story. I need to expand what I wrote for the opening so that the opening is strong and assertive, and so that it lays put what the rest of my essay will expand on.


I believe that I still developed good points through out the rest of the essay. I think that my thesis developed towards the end of the essay, rather than right at the beginning which I know I can improve on. I also think that I included complexity within my essay. although it could be better devoted, I still went into the "how" of the prompt, rather than just the surface of the prompt. I also used direct quotations this time, instead of just paraphrasing the quotes. I also expanded well on the quotes, and went more in depth of how they created the character of Moses. I also think that my transitions were smooth and my essay flowed well. Although it was short, it didn't jump from idea to idea. 

Overall, in order to change my writing, I think I need to apply these three goals. I need to use clearer and more sophisticated diction in all my writing, organize my thoughts better and use better and more fluid transitions. 

           

Response to my open ended essay

Personally, I really enjoyed writing this essay. I feel like it was my area to be more creative and let my own writing styles out. I think that through out writing the essay, my thesis became stronger because I continuously gained ideas from the previous thought. It really helped my flow, and I feel like it was better transition-wise. 

Something I know I need to work on in all of my essays is vocabulary. While I am working to broaden my vocabulary, it is still hard to find where I want to include sophisticated diction. I think that over all if I include more sophisticated diction, the over all flow of my paper will be much better and it will be a higher scoring essay. Another thing I need to improve on would be sticking with the thesis. I feel that sometimes I digress in my papers and that can cause confusion. I think that if I back up my points of complexity more clearly, the over all paper would improve. 

My three goals to improve my writing:

1. Include sophisticated diction.

This will probably be on of my goals for the entire year. It is something I need to work on for all writing and I think that with hard work, I can learn to include it where it sounds best.

2. Work on supporting complexity.

With every idea included in the text, there should be supporting details to back up the idea. I think I could go more in depth for each of the quotes or examples.  In all of my essays, it's been a struggle for me to back up my points and thesis with in depth support. 

3.  Continue each point; don't digress. 

When I am timed for an essay, I tend to let my mind wander, and then I end up having multiple ideas that I feel I have to put down. I feel that if I stick to one point per paragraph and some how connect it to the next, the over paper will improve significantly.